Allysha (my oldest daughter) was interview by Michelle at Scribbit. As a mother, discovering your children outside of the family context is the great gift of adult parenting. Allysha's insightful and humorous blog peaked my interest several years ago in venturing forth into the blogosphere myself. This was great for me to read.
My children gave me a science lesson the other day. The fall leaves, they said, are the real color of the tree after the summer is gone and the plants are no longer producing chlorophyll. In their decline they "show their true colors." Interesting, I thought. Maybe people are like that. When the autumn of life arrives and the summer of productivity is through, what is left represents the core of what that person has become. This seems to be true with my Dad. Even through his dementia I can see his core personality by what remains and consistently surfaces. He's a gentleman, even when he's upset. He always stops and lets me go through the door first. He doesn't like to be laughed at. He does like to be laughed with. He's honest. He's always asking me if I have paid for an item as we leave the store and if I am driving the speed limit. (You would think I was a chronic shoplifter and speed maniac. I promise I don't shoplift! I'm getting much better at keeping the speed limit.) He has retained his testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He likes to contribute. He likes attention. He has a little bit of showboat in him. He likes being with people. He doesn't like to be alone. He likes to be doing something. He can sometimes feel insecure. He feels safer with women than with men. Those are his true colors. I know that "showing your true colors" traditionally refers to a ship hoisting it's own flag just before attacking another vessel. I think the phrase could also apply to autumn leaves and old age. It makes you wonder what will surface when you reach that point. (Autumn - dotgouldpainting)
...in the middle of the night in fact. Our neighborhood was being ransacked by car thieves of the break-in variety. My neighbor watched them make their way down the street trying to get in people's cars. They went through her cars, stole tools from Carl across the street, tried to get into our cars. Naturally she called the police and about 8 patrol cars arrived shortly to start the chase through the streets. They caught one of the intruders but the other slipped away which was why we awoke to policemen scouring our backyard with their spotlight-bright flashlights. They looked under every nook and cranny, behind every bush, in every corner. No car thief to be found. But two cars in the area were stolen that night and the next morning. We must have been on the hit list. We get this kind of excitement every few years. One year we ended up with a car in our backyard because they were trying to escape the neighborhood. We've had numerous backyard searched, a drug bust next door, (it was a little unnerving to hear someone yell out about 1:00 a.m. - "put your hands up, this is the police!" and to look out to see the neighbor and his mother laying face down on the driveway being frisked by the cops) the swat team called in, a high speed chase (it was a bank robbery) and police shooting. Sounds adventurous, but really we are a quiet, nice suburban neighborhood. Sadly, Nathanael, who thrives on adventure, was out of town for just about every one.
There are two messages in that quote for me - one, it reminds me of our little children's divinity and that we are stewards. I want to be more careful and respectful of them. The other is that because Heavenly Father is the #1 parent we do our best and then put them into His hands. Ultimately their salvation is between Him and them. We are a facilitator and of course are accountable for teaching them but they have their agency (boy, don't we know!) and in the end they report back to Him.
I believe the work of salvation is so much more extensive than we realize . There is always hope. Heavenly Father loves all his children and is working with them.
When we moved into our house 24 years ago we planned to create a patio sitting area up on the hill in our backyard. F*I*N*A*L*L*Y while Nathanael was home in Aug. with extra hours on his hands, I decided this was the ideal time to conquer the illusive patio project. "Which do I prefer," I asked myself, "A strapping 22 year old lounging in bed or in front of the tv or a hard working soldier boy busting at the seams to flex his muscles and prove his worth." No contest! I put him to work.
I hauled numerous (I lost count) loads of blocks, sand (do it yourself=cheap) and road base gravel (free) in the back of our minivan, no less. (Lay down a tarp, fit in as many plastic storage tubs as you can and shovel it in.) I found some remnant flagstone half-price. Nathanael prepared for basic training by digging out the patio area and carting the blocks, sand, gravel and stone from the driveway into the back yard and up the hill. I told him he could tell his drill sergeant "This is nothing compared to what my Mom had me do!" He laid the foundation of cinder blocks, road base and sand. After he left the end of Aug. I spent most of Sept. laying flagstone as my Dad sat in a lounge chair on the lawn. I thought it turned out fabulously. Here are the pics.
...all alone at the young age of 16. I'm astounded and envious all at the same time. She launched from Sydney, Australia on Sunday. Just thinking about it takes my breath away. You can follow her progress here:
http://www.jessicawatson.com.au/
I admit it. I have a penchant for lipstick. I never leave home without it. There's power in that little pucker of color applied to the lips. It doesn't matter what else I might be wearing, if my lipstick has been applied I'm ready for the world. For me, you're never fully dressed without...your lipstick! Life is not my own right now as I care for my Dad and I am often dressing as I dash out the door. (In case you don't know, he likes to be on the run.) I've learned no matter what you are wearing, there's instant transformation in a pair of sunglasses and a little lipstick. I remember about 8 years ago I climbed Greys and Torreys (two fourteeners in Colorado) with my brother and sister and their families. Upon reaching the summit my nephew was aghast when I paused to apply my lipstick. He had never seen such a thing and the logic of it was completely lost on him. Today I was desperately out of foundation, meaning I was scraping the bottom of the bottle with a make-up brush and had been doing so for a week. With my Dad in tow we headed to the mall. (Nordstrom no less.) I tend to avoid Nordstrom as I feel I have stepped into some artificial world frozen in the "perfect" mode. I always feel a little shabby in comparison even if I'm in my "Sunday Best." Today was not even close to Sunday best. It was more like "What Not To Wear." I had been running early this morning and hadn't showered. I had thrown on some jeans, my favorite long t-shirt and an old but comfortable black heavy knit sweater. My hair was hurriedly bunched up on my head. Before stepping out of the car I tilted the rear view mirror down and applied my defensive weapon - lipstick. "You look pretty dang good" I told myself. Pushing my Dad in his wheelchair, we charged the large and spacious building of image and fortune. I found myself not fazed in the least by all the glitz and glam. This was partially due to being a frazzled caregiver, but mostly because I'm finding at 56 you can do what you please with a free and easy conscience (almost). The spiked heeled, Twiggy-thin, flawlessly made-up woman in outrageous textured hose with a funky little suit who helped me was very friendly and nice. I hadn't the least twinge of inferiority. I was happy to be the casual, free wheeling customer unencumbered by that extra four inches of height. My lipstick held it's own just fine! And I got a gift package with my purchase. Couldn't have gone better.
...am I posting when it's 11:00 at night and I have a sink full of dirty dishes and laundry to fold and receipts to enter and sleep is waiting?
Answer: Because so much of my time seems out of my control right now that this is an act of agency. I am c-h-o-o-s-i-n-g to post. Everyone is in bed and it's a brief (very brief) moment of freedom.
It's time to get rid of "My no good, very bad hour" and move on to something more cheerful - just slightly more cheerful however. I've been listening to some Hugh Nibley tapes in my car as my Dad and I are always on the road (he likes to ride). I actually love Hugh Nibley's thought and writing. He is refreshingly scourging at times and insists on shining the flashlight into the mostly unexplored corners of issues we would just as soon forget about. I've always thought of him as a modern day John the Baptist crying in the wilderness. So here are some quotes that catch my attention and are short enough to post although they barely scratch the surface: “In order to reconcile the ways of Babylon with the ways of Zion, it has been necessary to circumvent the inconvenient barriers of scripture and conscience by the use of the tried and true device of rhetoric, defined by Plato as the art of making true things seem false and false things seem true by the use of words”.
“The earth is here, and the fullness thereof is here. It was made for man; and one man was not made to trample his fellowman under his feet, and enjoy all his hearts desires, while the thousands suffer.” (quoting Brigham Young)
“Our gifts and talents are to be put to the disposal of the human race, not used to put the race at our disposal.”
"All my life I have shied away from these disturbing and highly unpopular - even offensive -- themes. (Referring to the desire of the Saints to constantly mix Babylon and Zion.) But I cannot do so any longer, because in my old age I have taken to reading the scriptures and there have had it forced upon my reluctant attention, that from the time of Adam to the present day, Zion has been pitted against Babylon, and the name of the game has always been money - "power and gain."
From “What is Zion – A Distant View” Originally given Feb. 1973, Brigham Young University.
