Whom my children love....

I've had an unspoken motto as a mother. I can't remember exactly when I became conscious of this fact. It was probably when my oldest children were in their teens and I became acutely aware that in the not too distant future they would be stepping out into the world beyond my home, making life decisions with real, long lasting consequences and.....falling in love. Observing those around me whose children were launching into marriage with or without the pleasing endorsement of their parents, I decided in my heart that I would love whomever my children love. I think this decision actually grew out of a myriad of other earlier crossroad choices when another unspoken family policy surfaced. Any friends my children collected in their daily walk through life were welcome in my home. I was careful about where my children played. I preferred them close to home where I could keep tabs on what they were about and the environment (esp. the media environment) they were in. But, we had a rule at our house that everyone plays - young or old, boy or girl, rich or poor, black or white, popular or not, ...they were all to be treated equally and included. I don't know if we always succeeded but I told my children I would rather have them be the one bullied than have them bully someone else. That applied to inclusion as well. I've never regretted that choice. I believe children should be welcomed, accepted and loved. If ever I heard reports of a visiting friend who was misbehaving or talking inappropriately I would ask my child to ask them to follow our rules when they were at our house making sure they knew they were welcome. It always worked. Either the behavior was self-corrected or eventually they drifted away to other play grounds.

Back to the present. My children are now falling in love and getting married. And I find myself definitely "in love" with the ones they love. I can see the graces and charms of those my children have dated and married and why they have been "thunderstruck" so to speak. They have done a much better job than I in my limited "mother" view would have done if I had taken on the task of selecting mates for my offspring. I am awed by how blessed I feel. I think every one of my sons-in-law and my daughter-in-law walk on water. They are golden! The great news is we are adding one more in July.