The Ant and the Grasshopper

I've been thinking about boundaries of late - particularly as they relate to personal space. It seems to me that most people have a build-in relationship radar that is constantly sending out signals to access and monitor the personal space, tolerance level etc. of those around them. For many this personal radar system works well. They have a good sense of what is invasive and when enough is enough. They appear to be fairly objective in their perceptions of what is going on around them. They can see things from the other side of the fence as needed. The can plan and work around other's boundaries.

Then there are the grasshoppers! Remember the ant and the grasshopper stories and the eternal debate as to whether the grasshoppers are free spirits to be admired for living in the moment, or freeloaders who take advantage of the ants' more diligent and responsible behavior? The grasshoppers (in the context of boundaries) have a more difficult time creating borders for themselves and not stepping across the lines that others draw for them. They are wearing a subjective pair of glasses and assume everyone else is using the same set of lenses. For the less-practical, moment loving grasshopper, borders are hazy or non-existent. They change as needed by the hour or circumstance. Grasshoppers take their cues from inside. They can be unique, creative, largess, generous, outgoing, fun and...from an ant point of view...frustrating!

Ants love their borders. The have lots of them set up for most situations life has to offer. And indeed, life runs more smoothly for them! Not only do they understand the concept of personal space, they allow others the same privilege. No tromping down the hedges here!

If your are entrenched in your "antness" however then life with a grasshopper can be unnerving and fairly exhausting! You must always have an armed guard patrolling your borders. And you can't just draw a line and say, "Do not cross!" You have to put up the moat and castle walls. Even then, the grasshopper is prone to knock on the gate at some unexpected hour to see if he or she can come in. And in the process the ant can appear slightly uncharitable.

Really, I have no solutions for this fabled dilemma of the insects. And, I have over-simplified the above analogy to make a point. In real life human beings are more complex. Probably like most people, I like to fancy myself as one who can do borders with the ants and play a bit with the grasshoppers. You can, however, find yourself frustrated on both sides of the divide. The ant and the grasshopper tales should have plenty of fodder to keep their application alive and well indefinitely.