Carl H.

Carl is our long-time neighbor (22+ years). His kids grew up neck and neck with our oldest five. Carl ran across the street once to put out a grass fire started by his 12 year old Patrick and our 12 year old Lorien. (Did I remember that one right?) And if I recall correctly we ran across the street once to tell Carl his swamp cooler was smoking on the top of his roof. It's great to get in any kind of discussion with Carl because he's a thinker and also a wrestler with the "issues" of life and he always has an opinion.

A few years back Carl was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which has contributed to him spending a little more time around the house...and WE have been the beneficiaries. Carl decided to take up baking and as all of his children are out of the house he shares his "goods" with us. A while ago Cameron (the youngest around here) was looking out the window and saw Carl starting across the street with some type of goodies (bread, pie, cake etc.) and he burst out with an exclamation of "I LOVE Brother Hoyal." When the doorbell rang a few seconds later I understood what was behind this random profession of affection from a nine year old.

Carl has been an avid golfer over the years and our children grew up watching him practice putting in his front yard. One day not too long ago he told us that many years back one of our children called out of the upstairs window on a Sunday afternoon when he was practicing his putting after church and said in a disguised voice, "Are you keeping the Sabbath Day holy?" I was a bit mortified to find out one of my children had decided to take upon themselves to play the "Holy Ghost" but Carl assured me that it had been a good influence on him and he never putted on Sunday after that. I take my hat off to him for being a good sport when he could have been offended.

We were all excited when Carl was made our family's home teacher. He knows just how much to talk and often his lessons are in the form of some treat or another. When Carl does have something to say it's always worth listening to. Last Sunday night our 10 minute home teaching visit was one of his "soapboxes" as he put it. According to Carl there is one vertical commandment and all other commandments are horizontal. The first commandment is to love God with all your might, mind, heart and strength and then, all other commandments have to do with how we treat our fellowmen. All evil, wickedness and sin is simply treating others badly or selfishly.

Carl and his family are perfect neighbors - always there when you need them, never intrusive. We've exchanged several kitchen's worth of borrowed goods over the years. Two eggs here, some baking powder there, a little vanilla. They've put up with our large and varied clan across the street over the years. We hope they will stay put.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLYSHA!

Feb. 25, 1975. Bountiful, Utah. Seven pounds and two ounces.

I have 15 minutes to wish a Happy Birthday to the person who made me a mother. I've always thought the first child to grace a naive set of new parents must be quite brave in nature. I recall quite clearly that 2:00 am ride to the hospital. It was a descent into an abyss of the the unknown. I was excited, relieved it was finally here but terrified at the same time. As the forces of Mother Nature overtook my body I recall the precarious sensation of becoming one with some life force entirely beyond myself. Eight hours and ten minutes later I held the most beautiful baby in my arms. I was enthralled from the first moment and couldn't get enough of those wise baby eyes and all of those miniature fingers and toes.

Thirty three years later I watch my daughter Allysha with her own four children ages six and under. She is as beautiful a mother as she was a baby. I admire her ability to teach her children, to structure their lives and to bring the good and beautiful into their childhood realm. They are all brilliant children (of course!) and watching their their lives unfold is a wonderful second time around only this time from a different vantage point with a little less close-up crunch.

Allysha is insightful, a fabulous writer, a dancer, a listening ear, a wise counselor, smart, artistic and most importantly full of faith. Thanks Allysha for being willing to break new and untried ground and lead the charge. Happy Birthday!! I love you!!!

Allysha and most of her crew...

A Delicate Love

This is a late Valentine's Day post. My husband forwarded this to me this morning and I thought it was beautiful. Mother Teresa has always held my great regard and (like E.F. Hutton) I listen when she speaks.

From Music and the Spoken Word -

"A Delicate Love"
February 10, 2008, Broadcast #4092

One of the best gifts parents can give their children is to love each other. When children notice that their parents like being together, when they observe an enduring affection between Mom and Dad, it gives them a deep sense of security.

Mother Teresa, leader of the Missionaries of Charity, remembered the glee she felt as a child when she watched her mother anticipate the arrival of her father. In her own words, Mother Teresa recounts: “[My mother] used to move very fast to get ready to meet my father. At that time, we didn’t understand, we used to smile, we used to laugh and we used to tease her. But now I remember what a tremendous, delicate love she had for him.”

Even though many years had passed, Mother Teresa still cherished the memory of her mother’s love for her father and wondered how such love could be felt by more families today. She continued: “Today we have no time. The father and the mother are so busy. . . . That’s why . . . I always say: Family first. If you are not there, how will your love grow for one another?”

No wonder some of literature’s most famous metaphors compare love with flowers. Love can be both strong and delicate. At times, love can endure extreme conditions, and yet, even in favorable circumstances, it can wither and die when not properly nourished.
In the same way, when parents take time to love each other, to nourish their relationship, their love grows. And because the rest of the family draws strength from that relationship, their children’s love—for them and for others—grows too.

Even if memories of home life are not so sweet, adult children can begin a legacy of love to give to the next generation of children. They can nurture relationships and help children believe that love can last forever.

F*E*B*R*U*A*R*Y 19TH 1*9*5*3

Today is my 55th birthday. As I have officially entered the ranks of "Senior Citizens" I should have something wise and terribly insightful to say but to tell you the truth I haven't a profound thought in my brain at the moment. This is partially due to the fact that I was up late (very, very late - or should we say "early") having important conversation with some of my favorite people. When I do that, I know I will suffer the consequences the next day, but for me it's always worth it. What is it about late night conversations that seem conducive to being "real" and getting to the crux of subject matter and bonding with others? The midnight hour is often my one-on-one time. Daylight seems fraught with business and schedules and getting stuff done. But there's rarely any agenda at 12:00 (is it am or pm?) midnight and few to no interruptions.

My plan for the day is to be free flowing without any schedule. And by the way, who decided that 55 was the venerable initiation into senior life? I distinctly recall a time when 65 was the magic marker of advancing age and privileges. Not that I'm complaining economically. I did get a nice hefty discount on my rec center pass. But really - I'm still just a kid and maybe it's everyone else who needs the eyeglasses. And actually I sort of feel like I'm cheating asking for those discounts. I didn't even shuffle into the store.

I was born on the astrological cusp - meaning I am neither (or either) Aquarius or Pisces depending on the astrological point of view. When I was a teenager and the 5th Dimension were singing about The Age of Aquairus I embraced Aquairus and felt a little sheepish about my Pisces inheritance. But as I look at the characteristics of both as listed on Wikepedia I really think I'm a Pisces. But if you like you can judge for yourself.

Click below and scroll down to read characteristics of Pisces and Aquarius:

The aroma of warm bread wafting through the air....

Bethany and Kip made me some perfectly delicious bread for my birthday (a few days early but I'm all up for ongoing birthday celebrations) and I'm on my fourth slice. YIKES! That's dangerous. And since advancing age and advancing pounds go hand in hand I'd better quit and head to bed.

P.S. Don't you think that fabulous bread is better than dessert!

Louis Armstrong-Danny Kaye

I have contributed more than a few times to the 232,059 times this YouTube video has been viewed. I love Louis Armstrong's infectious enthusiasm and I am intrigued by Danny Kaye's unique ability to communicate with every minute gesture. I always find myself wishing I was singing and dancing, not that I want to be Danny or Louis, but I want to be able to loose myself in the joy of that kind of expression. I realize however if I were to come even remotely close to trying it that first of all, my family would disown me, and second, there is a price to be paid in order to have the privilege of performing with such ease and pleasure. It's called years of practice and a fair amount of talent. It has to do with gifts and those are traits that have not been bestowed upon me. BUT... at some point in eternity I plan on getting up there with Louis and Danny and having the time of my life.

Here's to When the Saints Go Marching In. I hope makes you smile - broadly too!

Friend to the Friendless...

George Albert Smith had a personal creed. He was well-known for this set of 10 standards he lived by not only because he taught it but also because he lived it. He championed the cause of the blind, the imprisoned, the destitute and anyone who was in need. He gave the literal coat off his back. He donated shirts to Deseret Industries that were pressed, starched and in plastic cleaning bags. When one confused employee asked him if he had made a mistake he said "No, I intended to give them." When further pressed as to why he was giving freshly cleaned shirts he replied, "Well, that's how I like my shirts. Don't you?" He did unto others no matter their circumstances as he would be done unto. As I read the JAS creed I thought of my oldest son Lincoln. He has a desire to "live with the masses and help to solve their problems that their earth life may be happy." And he also lives by that desire. I admire him for that.


I would be a friend to the friendless and find joy in ministering to the needs of the poor.

I would visit the sick and afflicted and inspire in them a desire for faith to be healed.

I would teach the truth to the understanding and blessing of all mankind.

I would seek out the erring one and try to win him back to a righteous and a happy life.

I would not seek to force people to live up to my ideals but rather love them into doing the thing that is right.

I would live with the masses and help to solve their problems that their earth life may be happy.

I would avoid the publicity of high positions and discourage the flattery of thoughtless friends.

I would not knowingly wound the feelings of any, not even one who may have wronged me, but would seek to do him good and make him my friend.

I would overcome the tendency to selfishness and jealousy and rejoice in the successes of all the children of my Heavenly Father.

I would not be an enemy to any living soul.

Knowing that the Redeemer of mankind has offered to the world the only plan that will fully develop us and make us really happy here and hereafter, I feel it not only a duty but also a blessed privilege to disseminate this truth.

Truth and Consquences

I have been thinking a great deal lately about the unrelenting consequences that come because of our choices and our actions. If they weren't unrelenting we, like spoiled children whose parents don't follow through on discipline, would never learn the lessons of life we came here to learn. I am seeing this first hand at this moment as I have a dear, dear friend who is now suffering severely for choices she has continued to make over years that are now coming down upon her. It's one of the saddest situations I have experienced in my life. And though there are people around her who love her and who have tried to shield her from the consequences of her choices, the day has finally come when we can no longer do so. In the end, she is the only one...the only one who can make the decision to change the course of her life. Others can help but they can't make that decision for her.Sometimes we avoid doing the hard work of becoming responsible for our own choices because we want to have our cake and eat it too. We continue to make our unhealthy choices and expect our loved ones and others to pick up the pieces for us. But life operates within a framework of laws. And that cause and effect is constant. Justice has her day and if we build the house of cards on the sandy foundation the time will come when it will collapse. If this was all there was life indeed would be discouraging. Mercy cannot rob justice but mercy can give us the strength to learn from justice. The atonement of Christ offers us repentance, grace, sustainence, the strength and ability to change our ways and finally the ability to make different choices, to change the old ways, to become the new man and to cast off the old. As we accept that we and we alone are responsible for our actions then we can begin to create new consequences in our lives which can gradually temper the wake of our past choices. As we leave this school of life where the atonement of Christ can be a buffer between us and our actions if we so choose, we will have learned from our own experience, we will understand fully opposition in all things, good and evil, cause and effect and then at some point in eternity there will flow from our all of our choices consequences of joy, peace, love and goodness.